Is this boyfriend being a Shallow Hal?
Readers take Amy to task over her response to a boyfriend's concerns about his partner's weight gain. I’ll be back next week. Today’s “Best of” topic from 10 years ago concerns what happens in a relationship when one partner gains – or loses – weight.I do think she is beautiful, too, but in the last year she has started to gain weight.I don’t want to sound shallow, but it’s becoming somewhat of a turnoff to me.
I am attracting the attention of other females at bars and parties. I am not the cheating type, but it can be tough sometimes. I am not a shallow person, but sex is an important aspect of a relationship, and I really don’t want to lose my drive. I am only in my early 20s so you can imagine how tough it would be to limit my sex life because of something like this. I try to eat healthy when I am with her and attempt to get her to go to the gym with me, but it is hard to get her in the habit.
You don’t love your girlfriend with your whole heart, because if you did, you wouldn’t compare her to other people and immediately start worrying about how her weight gain affects you. Did you embark on your own weight-loss adventure for your girlfriend? No, you did it for you. Getting in shape is like that. It is an important pursuit that yields many benefits, but it is ultimately self-serving.So, tell this lovely woman that her weight gain is a turnoff and that you’d feel best if she was a female version of you. She may then embark on a crash diet, suddenly losing an amount roughly equal to your body weight. – August 2012I disagree.
Overweight people have a huge impact not only on their own health, but also on those they have relationships with, as well as on the greater society and our health care system. Yet it is considered anathema to voice negative feelings about them.If lecturing, challenging, or voicing negative feelings were proven to have an impact on overweight people, forcing them into a health journey, then I’d say go for it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t.