Intergenerational incarceration has left an indelible impact on our lives.
The look on my counselor’s face told me something was wrong. She asked if I had seen the news, then slid a pack of papers through the bars. The shock and horror of the moment were paralyzing. According to the reports, my 21-year-old son Hunter had tried to join ISIS and was arrested by the FBI at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport.
I remember the 7-year-old Hunter who existed before I came to prison. He cared about everything. He was the kid who shuffled bugs off the sidewalk so they wouldn’t get stepped on by accident. I remember him sitting in front of the TV watchingI know my son as I know him—before the state and his mother kept him from any contact with me for more than 10 years. And I know his arrest was a direct result of my absence in his life.
The human and capital costs of mass incarceration are hard to measure with raw numbers but can be seen—and felt—through the personal impact on families and communities. We observe this most acutely in the lives of children with incarcerated parents. They deal with stigmatization, shame, and bullying from other children, and they are especially susceptible to the harms of what criminologists call “I experienced all of this growing up.
When contact was finally established with Hunter, his mother expressed deep regret for her earlier decision. I’m sure it was not easy for her to admit this, and I believe her when she says she thought she was making the best decision for him. She subscribed to an opinion prevalent in society, the same as my mother did, and we are all living with the fallout from this error.My son was looking for some place, any place, to belong. Just like we all do.
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