Why I Stopped Getting Mad At My Tough Love Mama

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Why I Stopped Getting Mad At My Tough Love Mama
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'As we children grew up, we slowly grasped the wisdom in her words mostly because she led by example and lived by her words every day,' one daughter writes of her mother. (From our archive)

Bertha Ngumbi, mother of five children who are all now grown, at her farm in Kenya. She's sifting through beans to get rid of bad ones and stones. The cows' and goats' houses are behind her.Bertha Ngumbi, mother of five children who are all now grown, at her farm in Kenya. She's sifting through beans to get rid of bad ones and stones. The cows' and goats' houses are behind her."I want you to study hard so that you can rescue our family from poverty.

But my mother meant what she said. Anytime we were caught playing and not working hard at homework or chores like washing clothes and fetching firewood, she would punish us. I wish she did it differently. Bertha Ngumbi, my dear mother, is one of the most hardworking women I can think of. She and my dad, Harrison, were both teachers and managed to raise us on their combined salary of $200 a month.

That determination and selflessness had a powerful effect on my siblings and me. Even though we grumbled, it inspired us to work hard and pursue our life's goal no matter the challenges, hurdles and circumstances. My children thought I was mad when I told them what I wanted them to become. They could not believe they possessed the capacity to achieve the standards I had set. But because I was their mother, I could see their potential. I pushed them hard so that they would make it in life. I watched them closely and monitored their performances in school and had the time to discuss their progress with their teachers.

I didn't have to ask my mother if she is happy with how all her children turned out. I know she is very happy.

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