Why do narcissists act the way they do? Why do they insist that their 'fair share' should be bigger than yours? New research digs deeper into their entitlement and antagonism.
When researchers try to pin down exactly what it is in the system that gives rise to narcissistic behaviors, it is clear that entitlement is a significant part of the trait . All of us may experience a little bit of entitlement at certain times in life—maybe on our birthdays, we want a little extra attention. Maybe when we’ve reached a significant milestone, we may feel entitled to a special reward for our achievement.
On the other hand, vulnerability and its related narcissistic behaviors can also be triggered when their sense of entitlement is threatened. The antagonistic behaviors that pop up here are driven by a descent into a dark mood, diminished, and a desire to “get back” what’s been taken, or “get back” at those who took it. Typically, what the narcissist feels has been “taken” is the adulation and respect they feel entitled to be given just by being them.
Some of us may fall into a relationship with a narcissist before we realize what’s happened. Grandiose narcissists can reel us in through love-bombing and flattery that charms us. Vulnerable narcissists can reel us in with their neediness and our desire to give them the support and attention that they crave. Some of us want to be adored and grandiose narcissists can make us feel that way...until our adoration of them fails to meet their supply needs.
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