Take it from someone who’s sober and more satisfied than ever.
and may also improve body image. You can also ease into the mood with nonsexual contact first, like snuggling or giving each other a massage.
Stevens tells her students to experiment with various forms of touch during sex as well, as a way to increase mindfulness. “Different kinds of touch you can use include slow strokes, feathers, and light nail scratching,” she says. “This is a tool that can get you and your partner to slow down during sexual activities, and to listen and be responsive to what feels good to you and them.”
If you’re not ready to have sex just yet, let your partner know. You can also tell them that you need a break at any time during your first sober-sex experience. It’s more than okay to change your mind! Anyone worth your time—and your body—will respect your boundaries and appreciate your self-awareness. And if totally sober sex feels too intimidating, you can try sticking with just one drink at first, instead of your usual two or three, say.
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