Just because you’ve endured years of grappling with interpersonal conflict doesn’t grant you the license to lecture.
If you grow wiser as you grow older, then it stands to reason that you’re better suited to resolve conflicts with friends and family as you age.But just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re an all-knowing Yoda. You can just as easily come across as a finger-pointing scold or a loudmouth dictator in your efforts to bring people together.Seniors who are adept at restoring the peace possess the communication skills and emotional intelligence to build trust and calm aggrieved parties.
“People don’t want to be told what to do,” said Caspersen, a Vermont-based conflict engagement specialist. “But talking about your experience can be powerful.” “Make a verbal commitment to someone,” said Melody Stanford Martin, author of “Brave Talk.” “Say, ‘I want to work through this conflict with you.’ It shows a positive intent. It shows the person that they matter to you.”
“Focus on what matters to others and what they care about,” Caspersen said. “Be truly curious to learn.”Withholding judgment is tough as you try to bring warring parties together. The rush to assign blame can be hard to resist. You may have longstanding biases or perceptions that prevent you from mediating a conflict with fair-minded openness to clashing perspectives.
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