“You’ve Never Had An Abortion Have You?”

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“You’ve Never Had An Abortion Have You?”
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  • 📰 BritishVogue
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As we approach the one-year anniversary of Dobbs vs Jackson, the Supreme Court decision that marked the fall of Roe and the end of federal protections for reproductive rights, Vogue takes a look at the landscape surrounding reproductive rights.

Which brings me back to the question I left hanging in the air as we sat before a table of uneatenThat dinner took place on the eve of the Trump years and long before the catastrophic Supreme Court overturning of. Now I think of that time as nearly Edenic, like the romantic fog of our early relationship. And, like that romantic fog, it was in part a fantasy. We were skirting the bigger topics, the taboos. We were assuming we were in harmony rather than risking difference. And it cost us.

Today, it’s hard to imagine being romantically involved with someone without these big issues of gender, power, and bodily autonomy coming up regularly. And it’s hard to imagine asserting ideological positions without them feeling intensely personal. Because it is personal. And my ex boyfriend’s position, his question,the way he framed it felt suffused with judgement and self-righteousness. And refusing to answer at all felt like the only power I had left.

But, recently, I ran into him. He remembered that fateful conversation as vividly as I did, with regret and confusion. “The minute the question came out of my mouth, I wanted to take it back,” he said. “I heard how it sounded and I felt awful. Like I’d invaded your privacy, made you feel judged. But I didn’t know how to fix it. Everything I said made it worse.”

So maybe now it would be different. Maybe now we’d get under the hood. Maybe, like Guralnik’s patients, we might have had the kinds of uncomfortable discussions that would have made our bond stronger. We might have unpacked all of our implicit biases, our feelings of powerlessness. Maybe, and it only strikes me as I write this, not only did I feel judged by his question, but he’d felt judged by mine.

ruling – a shattering event that would have seemed unfathomable as we sat in that restaurant years ago. A devastatingthat most women will never forget. With regard to female bodily autonomy, the political is now more personal than ever, and more urgent, inescapable. Thinking back to that conversation, that sword between us now feels weightier, mightier, deadlier than ever.the husband has had his own nocturnal adventures and shares them all with his wife. It is a moment of crisis.

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