All the latest entertainment coverage from The Onion, America's finest news source.
For centuries, fire was a sacred symbol of vitality and strength. Keep this in mind as you roll around frantically on your kitchen floor this Thursday.The fruits of your labor will finally ripen this week before going soft and filling with mold two days later.It may take more muscles to smile than it does to frown, but with 90% of your body completely paralyzed, even frowning would be a worthwhile workout.
A thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters will finally produce the complete works of William Shakespeare, only to dismiss them as inferior to the oeuvre of Christopher Marlowe, or even Francis Bacon at his height.Don’t be surprised this week if someone strangles you with a length of piano wire as you read about your future.When life gives you lemons, why not blame them on your troubled upbringing and consequent inability to show affection? It sure beats making lemonade.
Deutschland Neuesten Nachrichten, Deutschland Schlagzeilen
Similar News:Sie können auch ähnliche Nachrichten wie diese lesen, die wir aus anderen Nachrichtenquellen gesammelt haben.
Your Weekly Tarot Card Reading Is HereRead your tarot horoscope for the week of September 21, 2020.
Weiterlesen »
Madame Clairevoyant: Horoscopes for the Week of September 21Start your week with your horoscope
Weiterlesen »
Here's How You Can Best Support Bi+ Youth, According to The Trevor ProjectBisexuality is extremely common, but bi people are 6 times more likely to remain closeted than gay and lesbian people. That’s why The TrevorProject is tackling biphobia head-on and supporting the community this BiWeek (via LogoTV)
Weiterlesen »
Global stocks tank on fears of second coronavirus wave – latest updatesBrazil reports over 13,000 daily infections. Other Covid19 updates: 🇦🇺 Australia's Victoria state reports slight rise in cases 🌏 Global stocks tank on fears of second wave 🇬🇧 Three positives in latest round of Premier League tests More here:
Weiterlesen »
Wildfires and hurricanes disrupt final weeks of 2020 censusThe Census Bureau is contending with several natural disasters as wildfires and hurricanes disrupt the final weeks of the nation’s once-a-decade headcount.
Weiterlesen »
5 Uplifting Moments in Latin Music This Week (September 19)Billboard editors highlight the latest news buzz in Latin music every week. Here&39;s what happened in the Latin music world.
Weiterlesen »