Being a little more responsive to a partner's sexual ideals may help couples better deal with conflicts in and out of the bedroom. Here's how to get started, according to DrDavidLey
. It turns out that despite what people tell themselves, sexual compatibility is important. And how we deal with sexual mismatches may be even more important than a sexual match.
For many people, sexual satisfaction is an important component of their lives, though sexual satisfaction is a complex and nuanced factor. For, when couples are sexually unsatisfied, it contributes disproportionately to feelings of general relationship dissatisfaction. Unfortunately, when a couple is sexually satisfied, it contributes only around 15-20% to their general relationship satisfaction.
People who are higher in sexual communion tend to be more responsive to a partner’s needs and interests in general, in a way that generally increases relationship quality and feelings of sexual satisfaction. An interesting result of this study, however, is that this effect only goes one way: If you are high in sexual communion, it likely has a positive effect on your partner, but not you. If they are high in sexual communion, it improves your satisfaction, but not theirs.
In this study, the researchers also found that they were able to increase a participants’ perception of their partner as expressing sexual communion, by asking them to reflect on times when their partner tried to value and meet their sexual needs. Following this intervention, people’s positive feelings about their relationship were enhanced.
Viewing your partner’s sexual ideals and needs as important and valuable protects and enhances your relationship. Even if you can’t meet your partners’ sexual ideals, sexual communion mitigates the degree to which that mismatch negatively impacts your relationship. I’ve written
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