Amanda Stern, whose book “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah” is now an Adam Sandler movie on Netflix, discusses spaghetti straps and goyim friends at Bloomingdale’s.
She recalled the first bat mitzvah she attended. “I was a really awkward, funny-looking kid,” she said. “And I somehow decided that a sweaterdress would make me pretty.” Hers was a heather-gray turtleneck—“I was sixty pounds. It just hung on me.” When she arrived at the temple, “I was one of forty-seven girls wearing sweaterdresses. It was so deflating.”
No closer to finding The Dress, she sat down at Studio 59, the Bloomingdale’s bar, ordered hummus, and explained that she’d rewritten parts of the book for its recent reprinting: “I started reading through it and I was, like, ‘Yeah, this is problematic.’ ” Stacy’s fat younger brother is now a gawky genius. Stacy implores God for: “More follows on TikTok. An Oculus Quest headset. World peace.” Gone are the Sean John backpacks and Seven jeans.
She described her own four-girl middle-school clique: “We were all BFFs,” she said. Two were Jewish. Two were not. “That was never a big deal,” she said—until, in seventh grade, students were given the option of taking a Jewish holiday off. The Jewish girls showed up at school; the goyim went to the movies without them.,” Stern said. “It was the biggest fight I think I’ve ever had in my life. It ended up with one of the moviegoers slapping me across the face in front of the entire class.
In addition to a new novel for adults and a newsletter “for those who want to live more easily in a world that often feels too hard,” Stern is currently working on an online course for parents of anxious kids. Her top advice: “Don’t lie to them.” Stern Googled “nineties fashion dress” and pulled up images of spaghetti-strap frocks over white T-shirts. “That’s it!” she said. “That is what they used to call a baby tee.” She hit the racks again and pulled out a diminutive T-shirt with a young devil in a Martini glass and the words “” on it . Free People had some spaghetti-strap dresses, including a navy one with a floral pattern, on sale for $76.80. Stern held up the ensemble and admired her handiwork.
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