Dear Care and Feeding: My Tween and I Rarely Kiss or Hug Anymore, and It’s Making Me So Sad

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Dear Care and Feeding: My Tween and I Rarely Kiss or Hug Anymore, and It’s Making Me So Sad
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We used to be affectionate with each other all the time. I really miss that connection.

I am a single mom to an 11-year old daughter. Up until around age 7 or 8 we were pretty physically demonstrative and would hug and kiss, and I would pick her up and carry her around. That slowly tapered off as she grew, and now we almost don’t touch at all. No hugs and kisses. We don’t avoid touching but don’t initiate at all.

Help! How can I support Slate so I can keep reading all the advice from Dear Prudence, Care and Feeding, Ask a Teacher, and How to Do It? Answer:I’m writing this in the middle of another night of insomnia, which is a nightly thing for me now. As a stay-at-home mom of a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old, not sleeping makes life not OK.

They are happy kids, and they have been fine with our routine. But six months in with no end in sight, I’m feeling trapped and shitty and very tired. My husband works full time and does what he can, but he has nothing extra. I’m doing all child care, home-schooling, most housecleaning, meals, etc. No family nearby. Therapy helps marginally. CBT is great and all, but I need solutions here! Got anything for me?I wish I had some kind of magic advice for you.

But if he’s working full time, the simple fact is your days are going to be long and tough. Life right now isn’t normal, so maybe there are simple ways to adjust your own expectations for how the days work.

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