How to invest in friendships that will enrich your life, by nireyal
that satisfying friendships need three things: “Somebody to talk to, someone to depend on, and someone to enjoy.”
This is how friendships die. But, as the research reveals, by allowing those friendships to starve, we’re also malnourishing our bodies. As an undergraduate, I first heard the term “residual benefactor” in an economics class. A residual benefactor is a chump who gets whatever is left over when a company is liquidated—typically, not much. When we’re not careful, the people we care about often become residual benefactors: We leave them for last, giving them whatever bits of time are left over after we’ve attended to everything else.My friends and I have recently come across a way to keep each other close.
What about the kids? In our group, kids are welcome, but they don’t run the show. Typically they play on their own, but if they interject, they’re given a stern response that sounds something like: “I’m having a conversation with my friends because my friends are important to me. You’re welcome to listen or join the conversation, but please don’t interrupt unless it’s an emergency.”
Not only that, but it turns out the time I spend with my friends is also an investment in my future health. Forget diets and the latest workout routines. The best medicine may be to gather your favorite people around a table and make a toast: “To friendship and your health.”Committing to my “kibbutz” has had the biggest impact on my happiness over the past year.
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