I’m her aunt, and I feel like there was a kinder way to reach out.
I am usually good about thanking people. Now, I am flummoxed. A note or even a gift seems so inadequate for what friends have done for us.
In one case, some friends hosted my husband when he was cleaning out his mother’s house, hours from home. They looked after the mail and even took my mother-in-law to get a COVID vaccination, which took them hours! The friends wouldn’t even take my husband up on his offer to take them out for a meal in return.
Another friend did some professional work for us that I offered to pay for but was told he doesn’t work that way. Not thanking someone when no thanks will be enough is a natural reaction — and one to be avoided at all costs. You may feel overwhelmed by their generosity, but from their point of view, you did not even care enough to acknowledge it.
Tell your friends the truth: that you were overwhelmed by their generosity at the time and cannot ever forget it. And that you feel terrible at having neglected to insist on paying for that professional work and that the very least you can do is to do so now, in addition to apologizing .My husband and I had houseguests wall-to-wall last summer — some departing and arriving within hours of each other.
We were amazed that people who stayed for several days did not offer to take us out to a meal during their visit. We were constantly hustling chow, taking them to see the sites and providing entertainment. From them, nada.Apparently, from what Miss Manners hears. But it is still on the books, regardless of the numbers of scofflaws.
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