'I thought about all of the women in previous generations who inspired me in some way.' 💪
. It had taken me four years to conceive, and I'd been looking forward to crossing through that rite of passage since the moment I held a positive pregnancy test in my hand. But life, as it often does when one becomes too self-assured, had thrown me a plot twist. I was suddenly nervous as hell.As the days shuffled by, I sensed my baby's presence speeding toward me — rumbling and amplifying in distinction.
"But remember that women throughout your ancestry have already done this successfully, so think about that when you feel afraid.", my therapist guided me down a dark hallway and through a wooden door, then pointed to a corner where a plush blue recliner rested in waiting."This is the cozy spot where I always treat my moms who are nearing labor," she said, grabbing a blanket and a pillow for my lower back.
I spent the following hour meditating on those words. Lying there, saturated in the stillness, I felt lightyears away from that room. My mind reached back in time, taking a tour of my family history, collecting a list of names. I thought about all of the women in previous generations who inspired me in some way — particularly those who infused me with a sense of grit and prowess.
I visualized them encircling my bed, beaming supportively with knowing gazes — as though they had already been given a preview of my baby's enchanted arrival. As though they were eagerly waiting to pass me the motherhood torch, and induct me into their sacred tribe of warriors.
The following evening, with my husband by my side, I crossed through the realm of labor and into motherhood, after more than a sweaty hour of pushing."Earth Angel" poured from the speaker on a nearby table, filling the room, blending majestically with the sound of my baby girl's first cry. Once the nurse confirmed that she was stable, swaddled her, and placed her in my arms, I stared into her face — euphorically awed, exhausted, and deliriously smitten, yet eerily calm.
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