'We are afraid to allow and validate our difficult feelings because we think that we will get stuck in them or that doing so will make us feel worse.' Here's why that's wrong, explains ncolier
This past weekend I witnessed an event that was both utterly simple and utterly profound, an interaction that beautifully demonstrates what we really need to feel OK.
Her parents, who seemed kind, did what most good parents do. They told her that she was going to have a great time once she got there, that she always made friends wherever she went, that she wouldn’t even remember not wanting to go, and that it was good for her to try new things. They told her not to forget, too, that Molly would be very sad if she didn’t come after having promised her she would.
And then something magical happened: The mom stepped off the stoop and sat down on the sidewalk next to her daughter. She put her hand on her daughter’s back and confessed that she really didn’t like going to parties either. And, that if she didn’t push herself, she probably would never see anyone besides the little girl, the little girl’s dad , and maybe her best friend.
This small encounter perfectly and exquisitely demonstrates the fundamental nature of feelings. When we fight with, criticize,, dismiss, or in any other way reject feelings, our own or someone else’s, those feelings we want to get rid of actually grow stronger.
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