Even for kids and parents who generally have healthy communication styles, adding six hours of schoolwork into the equation can exacerbate stress, which numerous studies have shown is a hindrance to effective learning
Photo: Getty Images Nora Painten worked for years as a preschool teacher, but for some reason, teaching her own kids feels impossible. Her younger son, a kindergartener, had been struggling to learn to read when the pandemic forced schools in New York State to shutter last March.
The child psychologists I spoke to widely agreed that the intimate relationship between parent and child can create a challenging educational environment. “There’s just so much more emotional weight that goes into teaching your own kids,” says Dr. Vasco Lopes, a school psychologist and Columbia professor. One of the biggest challenges for parents is managing their own anxiety, and the tendency to wrap up their childrens’ accomplishments and failures with their own self-worth.
Cruz acknowledges that some children may be thriving at home — particularly those with family resources to be able to dedicate time and attention to education. But it’s been well documented that remote learning presents a particular challenge to families from lower socioeconomic backgrounds, where money is a struggle and resources and physical space are limited, as well as for parents of children with disabilities.
“Somehow, when I teach my students they just receive the information easier,” she adds. “It’s like they accept that I’m a role model or an authority figure. Whereas with my own child who’s very strong willed, we can butt heads very quickly,” she adds.The child psychologists I spoke to emphasized the importance of patience and structure. But some of them are also encouraging parents to cut themselves some slack and prioritize the relationship.
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