Why It Took Me Over 20 Years to Realize I'd Been Gaslighted

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Why It Took Me Over 20 Years to Realize I'd Been Gaslighted
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Gaslighting can be subtle and difficult to identify from inside a toxic relationship—but that doesn't make it any less devastating

I was in my twenties during this relationship. My ex was a few years older than me and, having done the same degree in archaeology, worked for an archaeological organisation. After finishing my degree, I was on a dig and met someone from the same organisation as my ex . This person told me he had a friend who was looking for a research assistant and was I interested. I jumped at the chance, got the interview and secured the research post.

In the early stages of our relationship, I would often accompany my ex on nights out with his work colleagues. We were all in the field of archaeology, I got on fine with them and there were always other partners there. Simply because of practicalities, I hadn’t been on a night out for a while so when my partner said they’d be going out the following week I said, great, I’d love to come out with a drink.

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