'Do you think that story you're telling yourself is accurate?'
"This was an eye-opener when discussing my parents with her." —"'If that’s the case, maybe you should play the lottery?' I was spiraling, betting that I’d never substantially recover from an injury — predicting the future, black and white thinking. They brought up a good point: If I was so certain about my ability to predict a given outcome, I should start playing the lottery. My chances of winning were surely substantial.
"It's not a question, but it was powerful for me. I felt so dumb to have realized this, with her help, so late — but it’s totally changed how I approach relationships." —"'Whose voice is saying those things?' My therapist recently told me at the beginning of our sessions that I made a lot of negative statements about myself, and she asked me that question. I said that it’s my voice saying that to me.
"It's not a question but the answer to my question, 'Why am I like this!?' She said, 'It doesn't really matter.' To be honest, that pissed me off. I felt that if I just knew why I was like this, I could fix it. It took me years to accept that she was right. What matters is accepting that this is me and finding ways to work with it and around it."
"I just walk up to it, pick it up, and then complain the whole time about this heavy thing that no one ever asked me to carry." —"'Guilt implies that you did something wrong. Do you think you did the wrong thing?' He said this in terms of ending a relationship that was hurting my mental health. He also said that guilt is a learned feeling. We aren't born feeling guilt. People make us feel that way.
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